The locked Door
by The Knight who says Ni
Summary: The letter is at last revealed. Also what the characters are doing at this moment! A tale in which all the characters have their own unique personalities. Oh joy!
1. The things that make you go Hmm

The Locked Door.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Enter the contestants 1.  
  
It was early one morning when Princess Peach looked out of her castle's door. She thought she had heard the delivery goomba.  
  
"But that's impossible?" Thought peach to herself  
  
"The delivery goomba is always late."  
  
Still on the front porch there was a letter. It was addressed in an elegant hand and had a faint scent of perfume about it. Hmm, mused Peach This was defiantly odd. She decided not to open it.  
  
"After all, It might be another 'joke' from Bowser"  
  
She thought better of it and decided not to open it herself, Why bother risk the threat of a trap when she could get someone not as intelligent as herself to do it for her.  
  
*****  
  
"Mario" said peach seductively "can you open this letter for me I-I'm not strong enough."  
  
Mario did not seem to hear her he was staring at her stupidly. Peach sighed it was bad enough having him around her but when he was madly in love with her the stress was almost too much for her. Little was he to know that she had arranged every kidnapping scheme just to try and get rid of him. She repeated the question. Again the vacant staring occurred. A third time she repeated the question. Mario tore himself away from her face and looked at the letter.  
  
"Of course-a I-a can" said Mario flexing his muscles  
  
"This-a will give-a me-a a chance to impress-a her" he muttered under his breath.  
  
He gave the letter a quick uppercut, Smashed it to the ground Jumped on top of it, Bounced up and down on it, bit it into pieces with his teeth and set it on fire. When Peach had picked up all the smouldering pieces and glued them back together, she glanced over its contents and ran back to her castle before Mario could follow, Placed the twenty eight iron bars over the door to stop him getting in, and reread the letter.  
  
"Hmm." she mused  
  
*****  
  
Mario was surprised by Peach's flight he wondered how ever someone could resist his glittering charm. Maybe he was not hunky enough for her. But he ruled this possibility out. How could anyone be more attractive than him, However it was so long since he had jumped on any goombas. Maybe he could use a little extra training. But what to practice on, At that moment a letter fell through the letterbox.  
  
"Aha" shouted Mario in an inspired fashion.  
  
Two minutes later only a smouldering pile of ashy paper remained. Mario sadly was not as handy with glue as peach and ended up with the ashy pile stuck to his moustache.  
  
*****  
  
A few minutes later Luigi finished his shower and had again put on his overall he Entered the hallway of the Mario Brothers home. His eyes slowly surveyed the scene. Mario was stuck the ground with a burnt envelope attached to his nose.  
  
"Yawn" said Luigi and tottered off for breakfast ignoring his brothers stifled cries.  
  
After breakfast he returned to the hallway. Mario was his brother after all. After removing the glue from the floor he began to ask Mario why he was stuck to the ground in the first place.  
  
"Um." said Mario his memory failing again.  
  
At that moment however a second letter fell through the letterbox.  
  
Luigi stared at the letter addressed to him. Then at the smouldering letter attached to Mario's upper lip. Then at the evil gleam in his brothers eyes. Mario's fists clenched for action. His Muscles tensed as he prepared to spring forwards. Luigi smashed him across the jaw. Mario Fell to the ground, Birds flying around his head as they often do in cartoons.  
  
"Hmm" said Luigi as he scanned the letter.  
  
When he had finished reading it he slapped Mario across the face to wake him up, put him in a headlock and held his arms behind his back. He forced Mario to read the letter, helping him with the difficult longer words. Mario's jaw slowly dropped as he read the letter.  
  
"Hmm?" he said as Luigi slowly strangled him.  
  
*****  
  
Zelda Stood at the window of her castle painting her nails. A task which she did not often do. Still today was one of her only make up days after all and she wanted to try out some of her new products she had bought at the market. Downstairs there was a crash.  
  
"It must be the boys fighting again" she observed  
  
She did not really like these frequent fights between Link and Ganondorf and on some occasions Young Link. A boomerang whipped through the door smashing a lip gloss bottle. She sighed and bent down to pick up the shards. A bolt of dark magic flew over her head and flew out the window. Again.  
  
"Sigh"  
  
*****  
  
Later when she was applying her eye shadow Link burst through the door and grabbed her round the waist making her spill the bottle of shadow down her dress. She screamed and slapped him. This did not seem to have much effect as he clung on harder than ever. They reached the bottom of the staircase,  
  
"I won" Shouted Link to Ganondorf " See I saved her"  
  
She was now angry she through a bolt of Din's fire at Link. There was no difficulty in seeing that he was hurt this time. He screamed and beat his clothes wildly to little effect. Eventually when he had soaked his clothes in water he managed to gasp:  
  
"What d'ya do that for !?"  
  
"Obvious." Smirked Ganondorf, "She hates you"  
  
"Actually" Shouted Zelda over Link's shrieks of protest "You made me spill my make up over all my clothes."  
  
"So?" Asked Link and young link at the same time, as they failed to understand the feminine temperament.  
  
"Well my dress and my make up is ruined" Shrieked Zelda  
  
"Fascinating" yawned Ganondorf summoning up a chair for himself.  
  
"Just cos you're not female" blazed Zelda "Why I bet I could take you ALL on"  
  
Link shrugged, Ganondorf smirked, Young Link sniggered,  
  
Zelda looked stern.  
  
"O.k." said Link, "Bring it on" Said Ganondorf, "Hahaha" Laughed young Link and collapsed into hysterics,  
  
"Prepare to be emulsified" said Zelda.  
  
Two minutes later Zelda/Sheik was standing on top of the three knocked out bodies of Link, Ganondorf, and Young Link. She pressed her face against Young Link's  
  
"Now Who's Laughing" she said.  
  
Suddenly a letter dropped through the door. She left the heaving bundle.  
  
"Hmm" She said as she went to pick it up.  
  
She scampered off too her room to read it.  
  
*****  
  
"Ugh" groaned link as he untangled himself from Ganondorf's boot this was far from what he had expected. After all he loved Zelda and she loved him it was a long way from what he had expected of her, still it could have advantages thought Link, She could use those mighty muscles to cut wood for him, after all that was what women were for. The door rattled. Link stared at it.  
  
There was evil on the other side of it, He could sense it, evil, link did not like evil, Evil, Link wished to slay the evil, EVil, Link prepared to destroy the evil, EVIl, Link drew his evil killing master sword, EVIL!!!  
  
He slashed the door in half.  
  
"Oh it's just a letter," said link slow wittedly.  
  
Link picked up the letter, It was addressed to him,  
  
"Funny? He thought who sends me letters? I never write anything"  
  
Link opened the letter and read through it.  
  
"Hmm" he said.  
  
*****  
  
Link Junior was the next to awaken from his stupor. He had preferred Zelda when she was young and about his size. He chuckled, then stopped himself, He remembered what super woman Zelda had said about that and he did not want to be knocked out again. He got out his ocarina. He was just about to zoom off with it to the lost woods and see if Saria was up for a game of tennis.  
  
"Let me see," he said "How did the song go? Dum Dee Dum Doodeloo? No."  
  
He was interrupted from further strenuous thinking by noticing that the door had been hacked into small pieces.  
  
"Strange?" he thought.  
  
Link Jn. Went over to the door to have a look at it. There. on the hacked wreckage was a small scented letter.  
  
"Odd?" thought Link petite as he picked it up.  
  
"A letter?"  
  
Mini link looked at the neat writing.  
  
"M-A-S-T-E-R- -L-I-N-K- -J-N."  
  
He opened the letter and red it at an extremely slow pace. He was only first level reading and some of the words were very long and he could not quite understand them.  
  
Eventually when he had finished, he paused and looked up at the ceiling for inspiration.  
  
"Hmm." Came the final decision.  
  
*****  
  
The last to arise was Ganondorf. He had received the worst of Sheik's blows and had not fully recovered. He conjured up some bandages for himself and sat on a chair contemplating why women were so unpredictable. Secretly he was in love with Zelda and had only abducted her to try and get Link off the scene. He failed to understand how Zelda did not find him attractive. Green was the colour of all time according to him and he could not see why she could not find his fiery hair attractive. If only he could get rid of Link, if only. Suddenly he was struck by an idea, He pulled a memo reminder out of the air and said into it:  
  
"Plan 1: Get rid of link: Operation get rid of Link:" This went on for some time until Ganondorf was sure that the machine had got the idea that he wanted to destroy link.  
  
"I will use ants.lots of ants, No not the large type but this may be a later plan, I will cover him with ants. He will be bitten and will hopefully defeated"  
  
Another thought struck him  
  
"What if he burns the ants off?"  
  
Consider.  
  
Then came the amazingly well thought out reply:  
  
"I will make them.Fire Proof Ants!!! Muhahahahhahhahhahahah etc."  
  
(the memo ran out of space because of his mad laughing)  
  
Yet another thought descended from the sky and hit him  
  
"What if he washes them off.?"  
  
He was interrupted from further thrilling thoughts by a letter dropping through the former doorway. He pulled the letter towards him in a swirl of dark mist.  
  
He ordered it to sing out it's message to him. After the hideous shrieking was over he crossed his arms and looked thoughtful.  
  
"Hmm."He said  
  
*****  
  
Bowser stared out of his castle's window, His castle was not that much different from Peach's he thought except hers was made out of stone and his was made out of dried lava. Hers Had water fountains and his had lava, Hers had a vague scent of perfume and his brimstone.  
  
"Growlngsa" He said and his goomba servants came running.  
  
He indicated the empty cup at his side and the goombas ran off with it to the kitchen.  
  
Bowser now settled down for a sleep. He was tired and The sound of the lave dripping down the walls was very soothing. He closed his eyes, uttered some roars of contentment and rested his head on the back of his throne.  
  
*****  
  
Soon he was snoozing comfortably, Then the goombas re-entered. A loud crash made Bowser awaken The goombas were attempting to balance the goblet on their heads The one who was carrying it at current was having great difficulty moving as the others were bustling around it in case the cup fell. As a result the cup was dropped yet more than it would have if only on were carrying it. By the time it reached Bowser it was empty. Bowser roared at his minions a while then attempted to go to sleep. He was just dropping off again when a letter flew through the window and landed on his stomach.  
  
"Grmnugufr???" He asked  
  
Bowser viewed the contents of the letter then ate it.  
  
"Grhmmm." He said.  
  
End of Part 1 


	2. More random goings on oh dear

Zzzzz. Huh? what? Why? No not the mushrooms! Oh right its you. Why d'ya get me out of suspended animation. Oh no not THIS time again you mean I have to write another chapter. Curses. Ahh well est get it over with. Yawn. O.k. Right if you are some weirdo who likes to read the second chapter of a book before the first, or if you have been living under a stone whilst reading the first chapter and your memory has somehow been depleted then here's what's going on in the story so far: Some of the characters have received a letter. There reactions are as follows:  
  
Peach : Wondered if it was a trick from Bowser and gave it to Mario to open. Mario destroys the letter but Peach sticks it back together again. She runs off in girlish excitement after having read it.  
  
Mario : After wondering why peach has not fallen for his charm he receives a letter. He destroys it. Enough said. He tries to stick it together again but ends up stuck to the floor with the letter attached to his moustache.  
  
Luigi : Frees his brother from the glue vortex he has entangled himself in. He receives a letter which he reads and then forces Mario to read by placing him in a headlock.  
  
Zelda/Sheik : Annoyed by the boyish goings on in her castle she beats up Link, Ganondorf and Young link before receiving a letter.  
  
Link : After recovering from Zelda's beating becomes paranoid about evil and destroys the castle door and finds a letter in the wreckage.  
  
Link Junior : After recovering prepares to warp to the lost woods but instead notices a letter buried in the wreckage of the door.  
  
Ganondorf : After recovering sends a memo to himself to destroy link using fire proof ants notices a letter and commands it to sing out its message to him.  
  
Bowser : After suffering goomba servant difficulty discovers a letter, reads it then eats it. Yes envelope and all.  
  
This concludes our characters so far, now onto the legal rubbish: I do not own anything at all in SSBM or any other Nintendo characters. However I do bear a strange resemblance to one of their characters, so, on with the story.  
  
Chapter 2 : Pointless goings on in various places involving Philosophy, Rodents and Microphones A.k.a. :A sequence of out of the ordinary events.  
  
Our story begins high on a mountain peak. The snow capped peak which seemed impossible to reach ho any humanoid creature, but. what is this? It looks like some sort of creature, No wait? Two of them???. Could it be? Yes I think it is, That's right it is. Yes: Some mountain goats. Zoom down the mountains slopes some two thousand meters. Yes this is the ice climbers attempting to climb an ice wall for the twenty eighth time.  
  
*****  
  
"Nevah" said Poco "In the field of human conquest, shall we give in to the Germans,. I-I mean mountain.  
  
Nana sighed.  
  
"For the last time you are not Winston Churchill" she groaned.  
  
"Not in this life no," He said "But in a previous life I was."  
  
His sister thought for a while then at last came up with an idea to shut him up.  
  
"Lets climb the mountain." She said  
  
He stopped making peace signs at an invisible crowd.  
  
"O.k. then" he said.  
  
Again came the great scaling of the ice wall, or should that be failing of the ice wall?  
  
He muttered something  
  
"What as that?" said his sister  
  
"I have a dream." said Poco  
  
"Not again" she groaned  
  
A few minutes elapsed by. Then He started singing.  
  
".Climb every mountain higher, reach for the stars, and when that rainbow's."  
  
"Shut up" screamed Nana "You can't have been all the S-club 7 members."  
  
Another pause, then:  
  
"For Mother Russia" he shrieked (N.b. no offence if you are Russian)  
  
Nana could stand it no longer. She threw herself off the edge of the cliff, Suffered a drop of 10 feet then landed. Poco fell on top of her.  
  
"Oh dear, failed again" said Poco cheerily  
  
"@¤//+?" muttered his sister.  
  
"Still" He said "Lets try again"  
  
then came the inevitable:  
  
His voice went Harsh and grim:  
  
"We're going over the top."  
  
*****  
  
Nana was bored.  
  
Her brother was slowly going up the mountain as she was pulled slowly upwards by the rope around her waist. Her brother could think of no other mountainous quotes and therefore had started on a totally unrelated topic;  
  
"Hoots mon loook oout ets the monsterrr froom the Loch" he failed to say Scottishly.  
  
Suddenly the rope became taut. Poco looked down at his sister She stood nonchalant and firmly embedded in the rock.  
  
"Why do we do this?" she said  
  
"Do what?" came the reply  
  
"Climb mountains?"  
  
"Because they're there"  
  
"But why do we waste our energy scaling rock faces when we could act like any normal people and stay at home during heave blizzards?"  
  
"Aha, because it entertains the watchers."  
  
"But how can climbing the same god forsaken rock infinite times just in different colours entertain anyone."  
  
"I honestly don't know" he confessed"  
  
"Games are nothing more than an unoriginal idea, in which the plot lines are copied from another idea and altered slightly so they appear different just to create a small laugh."  
  
She was drowned out by a loud whistling sound. A meteorite descended from the sky and hit Poco, he was then decapitated by a sheet of ice and pecked by a swarm of geese. Then a 23 tonne weight dropped on him. His anorak was stained with blood which made it appear orange.  
  
"Oh my God" said Nana "You killed Poco" "Nevah fear" said Poco's disembodied head. "This is a game, just take me to the nearest save point and I will recover."  
  
"O-o.k." She said  
  
"Excellent" said the head grinning madly.  
  
She sighed again. Then something caught her eye. On top of a snowdrift there were two letters. She dug them out and read one and gave the other to the head.  
  
"Hmm" She said  
  
"Hmm" Said the head  
  
Everyone stared expectantly at the body waiting for it to say something. But it refused to.  
  
*****  
  
Somewhere in a large town, most probably somewhere in Japan an assortment of small yellow rodents, A pink blob, A large purple .thing and a small schoolboy were generally causing mayhem.  
  
A slightly larger than small rodent hared along into a clump of bushes. A few seconds later it leaped out at an innocent passer by and bit him in the leg. The remarks which followed will not be revealed here. Partially because they are in Japanese and partially because I could not give them here in English without making the story R rated. The man after howling at his pain for some time removed the offending object from his leg with great difficulty and slowly squeezed it between his hands. The yellow mouse grinned wickedly at him.  
  
The electric volts coming from the man could me seen in a twenty mile radius.  
  
It was not long before the whatever police are called in Japanese appeared. They searched around for a while before noticing the rodent.  
  
"We have found a. some sort of mouse"Said a police officer into his walkie- talkie.  
  
"Pika-pika- chu" said the so called mouse innocently at last revealing it's true identity.  
  
"It's-it talks???"  
  
The police held a hurried conversation in whispers:  
  
"Maybe its a mutant from the power plant" "Maybe?"  
  
"Or could it be some sort of living toy" "I dunno" "I say we kill it" "Nah" "I agree its too cute to die" "Where's the last donut I'm hungry" "Yeh he's quite cute ain't he" "Mmm" "I still say we should blow it's brains out." "Where's my donut?!?"  
  
and so on until one of the men turned round and approached Pikachu.  
  
"Uh.Good morning.um.rat"  
  
This was the wrong thing to say. Pikachu whatever his physical defects was not a rat.  
  
Again electricity pulsed out from the city.  
  
A few minutes later the police entered the toy shop where they had seen the "rat" run to. When they entered the shop they were surrounded by more yellow rodents and pink blobs and other popular cartoon characters. They pulled out their pistols and opened fire on the plush toys.  
  
When the debris cleared and the policemen had left, a small yellow toy leaped from a shelf and took off down the road towards the bushes. As it stood panting there it noticed a small scented envelope sticking out of a branch. It picked the letter up and read it  
  
"Pika?" it said.  
  
*****  
  
Elsewhere in town a smaller rodent of a higher intelligence was walking down the road with sunglasses on supporting a beatbox on its shoulder holding it on with its less than ample arm. People who saw it fled for their lives. One man however stood rooted to the spot with fear for this hideous apparition. The small rodent walked up to him.  
  
"Yo" it said giving the man a peace sign. The man turned and fled.  
  
"Wicked." Said the rodent.  
  
This smaller rodent was Pichu, who, unlike his elder self was somewhat alive to the latest in fashion and style.  
  
Pichu wailed along to the tune throbbing out of the beatbox. Making everyone within 1 mile of him cover their ears or dive for cover as windows collapsed. Then the police arrived still on their hunt for the lager rodent.  
  
"We got him now" said a policeman  
  
"Mmm donuts" said another.  
  
"Yo" said Pichu.  
  
"Hey he's changed slightly" said yet another policeman.  
  
"No.he hasn't" Said a fourth with fear in his voice "It's another one. soon genetically modified rodents will take over this world.no one will be safe we will be their slaves.Ahhhhhh" with this fascinating description of future the policeman jumped down a manhole cover and was instantly devoured by a crocodile.  
  
A slight pause then.  
  
"Yo" Said Pichu again hoping for a response.  
  
The Police stared at Pichu amazed. They half pulled out their guns.  
  
"Wazzup" Said Pichu  
  
The police pulled out their guns and one man picked up Pichu by his tail.  
  
"Is it because I is yellow" Wailed Pichu.  
  
The policeman swung him round by his tail. Then laughed. Pichu was then angry. Again came the electric explosion. After the Debris had cleared all that remained in the crater was a small yellow mouse and a rather charred donut.  
  
"Like, Whatever" said Pichu.  
  
A letter slowly drifted down from the sky and hit Pichu on the head. The small rodent read the letter with wide eyes. When he had finished reading it, he nodded his head slowly.  
  
"Like.Hmm." Said the electric mouse.  
  
*****  
  
In yet another part of the city another pokémon was causing chaos. However this one was not yellow and fluffy. It was pink and globular. In it's right paw it grasped a pen/microphone as it always does in the 'Brilliant' cartoons (*ahem*).She wandered or should I say waddled around. Suddenly its huge eyes caught sight of a platform with a car on it.  
  
"Why bother with a car when you can have me?" Thought the chubby blob.  
  
She slowly ascended onto the podium. People were staring at her with panicked eyes. However Jigglypuff interpreted their fearful gazes as longing. Her fans were longing to hear her sing. She Slapped the car of the podium and it lay at the bottom of the stage n a flaming heap. Then the song began.  
  
"Jigalee-puff Jigalee-ee-ee"  
  
For some inexplicable reason all the people began to fall asleep dispite the frightful vibes being produced by the blob. When the song at last came to an end the blob stared around. ???.Everyone was asleep. Jigglypuff did not like her fans to fall asleep. She pulled the top off her mike revealing it to be a pen. She was just about to scribble 'oh so comically' on everyone's faces when something descended from the sky. Not a letter this time but a hot air balloon in the shape of a cats head. There was.yes a man in a dress inside and a woman with strangely long and static hair. And a cat which resembled the balloon. They were saying something.  
  
"Prepare for trouble, And make it double" they warbled  
  
"To protect the world from devastation, To unite all peoples within our nation"  
  
Jigglypuff was angry, These people were trying to take her publicity. When the horrendous song came to an end the woman leaned out of the balloon.  
  
"Come with us little pokémon" She said  
  
This was more than Jigglypuff could take. These people were trying to steal her and use her beautiful voice for their own ends. She rummaged around behind her back for a few seconds and then pulled out an AK-47 assault rifle. She smiled wickedly and pointed it at the balloon.  
  
"Asta la vista bad guys" She said at last revealing she could talk.  
  
A large explosion shook the city as the balloon was detonated. Jigglypuff put away the gun and went to sleep. When she woke up there was a letter next to her she read it over and then drew all over it with the pen/mike.  
  
"Hmm!" she decided.  
  
*****  
  
In yet another district of the city a purple creature was terrorising the inhabitants. The creature was psychically gifted and was using its talents to the fullest of it's capabilities. Mewtwo sneaked up behind a man who was looking into a shop window full of cakes.  
  
You have a strange desire to eat Transmitted Mewtwo into the man's subconscious. Mewtwo laughed as the man began gobbling cakes down like a shredder. It went up to another peaceful inhabitant who was playing with a yo-yo.  
  
You strongly desire to hit people with that spherical object  
  
Again Mewtwo laughed as the small boy attempted to strangle a businessman with the string and floated off in search for fresh prey.  
  
He spied a schoolboy doing work in a room and floated over to him. Standing behind him Mewtwo was for once in his life amazed. The small boy was doing sums which were almost beyond his capabilities.  
  
"Let me see" said the small boy "E=78n(gff2)-4544+(gskrckfjdhsk2kdk)squared = k therefore k=320345.3485924851.  
  
Suddenly the boy turned round and saw the purple pokémon standing over him. Instead of screaming and fleeing under something as people generally did when they saw Mewtwo he simply held out his hand and said  
  
"Hi, I'm Ness, and you?"  
  
Mewtwo stared at the boy in amazement. He had to get the thing to stop looking at him in this odd way. He attempted to hurl this 'Ness' across the room. The boy stood happily there seemingly oblivious of the psychic energies being placed on him. Mewtwo stared, Why wasn't it working?  
  
*****  
  
Ness wondered if this was the right thing to do. It was not every day he met a purple floating creature. It slowly extended its arm and shook Ness' hand. Ness thought it looked rather shocked.  
  
Who-who are you it said.  
  
"I'm Ness boy genius" said Ness without a trace of showing off. "and you"  
  
*****  
  
Mewtwo did not know much about humans and was not sure how to respond to this. However some human videos he had once seen. He had remembered some lines from them for just such an occasion.  
  
Ness, he said gravely I am your father.  
  
Ness looked shocked. Then he appeared to be concentrating very hard. Then he said.  
  
"No you're not, I read it in your thoughts"  
  
Mewtwo panicked.  
  
Your a wizard Nessie  
  
"No just psychic that's all"  
  
We are the knights who say Ni  
  
"???"  
  
Mewtwo fled out of the window still saying random quotes.  
  
I'll be back.  
  
Ness stared out at the fleeing thing.  
  
"Nice chap." He said "I wonder why he's purple"  
  
*****  
  
When Mewtwo had recovered he sat under a bush and brooded deeply. Suddenly he saw a letter between the leaves. He read its contents without opening the envelope.  
  
Hmm. he brooded.  
  
*****  
  
Back in Ness' room the small boy had finished his homework and was staring vacantly. When he had read Mewtwo's mind he had seen some things fun he could do with his powers.  
  
He saw a very fat man wandering down the road.  
  
"I wonder what happens if." said Ness evilly.  
  
The man was instantly transformed into a pheasant wearing a bowler hat and smoking a cigar.  
  
"Hee hee hee" laughed Ness  
  
After much more trickery like this Ness saw his Maths teacher, Mr Faicha, walking down the road. Ness did not like his maths teacher much. He didn't give hard enough sums. Ness' eyes lit up with wicked delight. Ness closed his eyes and concentrated and Mr. Faicha vanished off the face of the known earth.  
  
A letter floated through the window. Ness stared at it in amazement. He read it in 2.5 seconds and commented.  
  
"Hmm"  
  
*****  
  
Mr. Faicha suddenly found himself not in the middle of Sang-Fo street but in a grassy field. There was a tree with a mouth? And some odd music was playing. He sat down in the grass. This was very strange. Suddenly he caught sight of a large pink blob haring towards him at an incredible speed for a creature so fat. He hailed it.  
  
"Good sir, could you please inform me where I am"  
  
The creature paid no attention to him but continued to head towards him the crazy music got louder as the creature got closer.  
  
"Food! Food! Food!" it squeaked.  
  
"Where?" He said turning round to observe where this food might be.  
  
"Food!" it squeaked still haring towards him.  
  
"Where?"  
  
Suddenly Mr. Faicha was aware of a force pulling him backwards the creature was sucking him towards it. A few seconds later he was inside the creatures mouth.  
  
*****  
  
"Needs salt." Said Kirby and spat the food out onto a tall tree where it dangled waving its arms and legs and shouting at him.  
  
Kirby floated of in search of fresh food. He was hungry. Still there was always food to be found.  
  
At the end of the day Kirby had eaten 7000 objects both large and small and was still hungry. He returned home and flipped on his television. An advert was on.  
  
"Here we take 28 ounces of sugar and melt it into a thick paste then sprinkle it over a bar of dark chocolate"  
  
Kirby could take it no longer. He swallowed the television.  
  
"Still hungry" Kirby thought.  
  
He looked around for more food. The wallpaper had a pretty little design of pineapples on it. Soon the walls were bare.  
  
3 minutes later Kirby had eaten his whole house.  
  
"Mmm. Bricks" he said  
  
at that moment a letter floated down and landed on his stomach. Kirby opened it and read the contents. Then: "Mmm, envelope" said Kirby devouring the letter.  
  
The letter tasted nice to Kirby he wondered what flavour it was eventually he came to a conclusion.  
  
"Hmm" Said the bloated blob.  
  
*****  
  
Well that's all for now people I must go back into hibernation and think of new plot lines for the rest of the characters. Still please review this chapter and if you want to send me some plot ideas for the next lot of characters please do not hesitate to. The letter's contents will soon be revealed to you never fear. 


	3. His name is MARTHE, or Marth dont hurt m...

Yet again I must be awakened from my long slumber to write yet another chapter in this hopefully thrilling story. Anyhoo if you are an even stranger person who reads the third chapter in the book before any others then there will be a quick recap of chapter 2 but not 1 because I cannot be bothered to type it. Read chapter 2 if you wish to find out about chapter 1 but of course it would be more sensible to read the ACTUAL chapter first fools. Anyway now I must move on to a yet more boring subject if this is possible. The fantastic story of copyrights, yay: I do not own super smash brothers or any other Nintendo thing if I did I would most likely be a Japanese or American millionaire. However I do own certain other things such as my clothes and other objects. Anyway away with such boring drivel and on with the fantastical story of the locked door not .  
  
First a brief analysis of last week's story:  
  
Ice climbers: After failing to climb a mountain due to Poco's annoying comments they discuss philosophy and why anyone enjoys playing ice climber yet another . Poco then is hit by a meteor and Nana discovers some letters in a snowdrift.  
  
Picachu: After causing chaos in a town he is chased by the police who chase him into a toy shop and destroy thousands of plush toys before running out of ammo. Picachu then flees from the shop and finds a letter in a bush.  
  
Pichu: After terrifying people in the same town by attempting to be cool he is mistaken for Picachu and arrested by the police (gee, its rather like a Shakespearian play isn't it?) He zaps the and then escapes (unlike a Shakespearian play). He is hit by a falling letter and reads it.  
  
Jigglypuff: Climbs onto a podium and sing the only song it knows. Everyone falls asleep. She sees team rocket (I do NOT watch the show anymore) and blasts them with an assault rifle. Then goes to sleep, wakes up and finds a letter next to her.  
  
Mewtwo: After causing havoc with its psychic powers observes a boy who his powers fail to affect. The boy talks to him and reveals his name is Ness. Mewtwo panics and flees spouting random phrases. He finds a letter and reads it psychically.  
  
Ness: After meeting Mewtwo uses his psychic powers to play tricks on the people who he sees. He transports his maths teacher into another dimension.  
  
Kirby: Lives in this other dimension. He sees the maths teacher and eats him. He then spits him out. He goes off to find better food. After eating all day he returns home and devours his entire house before going away to find more food. He finds a letter and eats it.  
  
So there you have it. The characters and their movements' can you work out who did (heavy French accent) ze murder on ze orient express. What am I going on about? I don't know. Anyway on with the fascinating story. The letter will be revealed at some point. but not yet. Hahahaha.I really am mad am I not.  
  
This time there is much danger, dastardly plans, and daring do. Therefore the thrilling play is entitled:  
  
Chapter 3: Danger, dastardly plans, and daring do.  
  
The story written here is very complicated therefore to confuse you yet more and give you another chance to fail to understand the story we will be starting in the centre of act 4. We hope you will find this most useless.  
  
*****  
  
Fox sighed. The plane was extremely slow and boring. Falco sitting next to him also sighed. The plane WAS extremely slow and boring. He stared out the window. The scene of an aircraft wing did not fascinate him much. It was much more exciting in an R-wing. However he and Fox had been banned from using their ships for a month because they had 'accidentally' shot down Slippy the one of great annoyance. (Those of you who have played starfox will know what I mean, whoops I mean starfox of course). Anyway the actual fact was that they had deliberately shot down the frog of annoying squeaking but everyone else had known how Falco and Fox felt about the stupid frog and they also thought that he ought to be shot, so everyone pretended it was an accident and when they got a quiet moment sniggered about the defeat of the so called 'squeal' frog. Back in the plane Falco was tired of staring at the wing and turned to Fox to make conversation with him. He was a complete failure at making good conversation.  
  
"Fox?" he said.  
  
"Hmm?" said Fox looking up from the map of possible escape routes from the plane.  
  
"What y'a doin'?"  
  
"Hmm." said Fox.  
  
A slight pause ensued during which Falco stared at the sea down below and Fox rule out the possibility of leaping out of the front window.  
  
Then.  
  
"Fox?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Why did we have to get Virgin airlines tickets?"  
  
"Because they're cheap."  
  
"But the plane is boring"  
  
"Well do something"  
  
Falco stared round to find something to do. He noticed the small games console in front of him. Something to do. Falco picked up the controller.  
  
A few minutes later Fox got bored of trying to flee the plane.  
  
"Falco?"  
  
"Hmm?" said the enthralled birdman.  
  
"What y'a doin'?"  
  
"Playing on this thing"  
  
"Oh." said Fox picking up the controller.  
  
*****  
  
"Ooh yeah" said Fox later "183 points!"  
  
"217" smirked Falco taking his eyes of the screen.  
  
A loud bleep erupted from his speakers  
  
"Noooooooo!" screamed Falco  
  
It was Fox's turn to smirk  
  
"Oh dear Falco, was that your last life, tut, tut," he sniggered.  
  
A stewardess came up next to them with a trolley of food.  
  
"Like anything, sirs" she said hopefully  
  
She was ignored as the two pilots played on the consoles.  
  
She repeated the question again louder; again there was no reply. 10 minutes later she managed to make herself heard to them and some of the other plane travellers were beginning to complain about the noise. Fox looked up.  
  
"Could you please repeat that I didn't quite hear you." he said.  
  
She screamed the message at him.  
  
"Oh," said Fox "No thank you."  
  
The stewardess went on with the trolley muttering about animal customers and paying attention to other people as well as death threats.  
  
"She seemed nice" said Fox to Falco.  
  
"Who?" said Falco his eyes glued to the screen.  
  
*****  
  
Dr. Mario was is his surgery room waiting for a patient to arrive. However only one person had ever been cured by him. This was due to the fact that Dr. Mario unlike any other doctors did not give people pills or medicine but instead attacked viruses himself and usually smashed them to kingdom come. This treatment, however effective had an unusual effect on the patient who usually screamed and clutched at the part of their body where Dr. Mario had hit them.  
  
"I must-a have a patient to-a day" he said to himself  
  
several hours later Dr. Mario was dozing quietly. Someone came through the door making the bell ring.  
  
"Wha-what-a?" said a drowsy Dr. M  
  
The man who entered wore a scarf around his neck and mouth. He had one hand in his pocket clutching a strange object. He also bore a set of dark glasses on his nose.  
  
"Gimme all your money on a check and no one gets hurt. I have a gun I'm not afraid to hurt you."  
  
Doctor Mario was still very sleepy and did not quite hear properly also the man's scarf muffled his voice. What the Doctor seemingly heard was:  
  
"Gimme.check.have.hurt."  
  
"What-a?" said Dr. M "You want-a me to give-a you a check-a up-a because you-a have a hurt-a?"  
  
He did not wait for a reply. Instead flung the unsuspecting man onto the operating table. At the force of impact the gun flew out of the man's pocket and flew across the room.  
  
"So-a what seems-a to be the problem-a?"  
  
The terrified man screamed out "Help meeeeeee!" he screamed in the vague hope that someone would hear and rescue him from this lunatic.  
  
"You-a want-a me to help-a you?" said Dr. Mario  
  
"No! No! pleeease let me go" screeched the man. However his cries were masked by Mario dancing round the room yelling:  
  
"I've-a got-a a patient! I've-a got-a a patient! I've-a got-a a patient!"  
  
he suddenly stopped.  
  
"Now-a let me-a help-a you." he said grinning menacingly, he rolled up his sleeves and balled his fists. Then slowly advanced on the man who was wide eyed with fear.  
  
*****  
  
Back on the jet in the upper class seating area sat Marth and Roy. Well Roy was sitting Marth was cowering under the seat.  
  
"Come out Marth" said Roy  
  
"Never" said Marth  
  
"Please come out and talk with me"  
  
"Oh it's alright for you, You aren't going to die"  
  
"For the final time Marth you are NOT going to die."  
  
"Yes I am" screeched Marth hysterically "My fan girls will kill me because I have a wife and then IF that fails then of course I will be the first or only one to die if this is yet another Big Brother, 10 little Indians type story"  
  
"A what?" said Roy  
  
"10 little Indians" Marth replied "It's a poem about little Indians who die one by one, It was cunningly adapted into a Agatha Christie detective novel in 1923 and was helped into print by."  
  
he tailed off as Roy gave him a hard stare.  
  
"O.k. Marth cut down on the reading" he said  
  
"That's another problem" screamed Marth "Why does everyone call me Marth, (except annoying people who give me nicknames like blue boy or tiara boy) My real name is spelt Marthe, M-a-r-t-h-e. Well either that or the ssbm website is extremely wrong about something"  
  
"O.k. ." said Roy again "Marth or Marthe as you please do you ever say anything under 2 lines in this story.  
  
"Yes I did at the beginning of the section when I was saying I was going to die, really Roy I am indeed surprised that you failed to notice that. I find it highly incomprehensible that this important item could be missed."  
  
"O.k. ." said Roy yet again.  
  
"Quite," came the reply from the blue haired prince" therefore as I have explained to you before not only am I greatly irked by the whole procedure but I am also Dooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooomed!"  
  
"I agree" said Roy calmly  
  
*****  
  
Going back to the other lower class part of the plane Fox and Falco were having an argument about points on the game,  
  
"Oh yeah right" said Fox "I reeeeealy believe you got 10000 points, I bet you couldn't even get 10"  
  
"I did" said Falco shortly  
  
"Well, where's the score?"  
  
"Um.I...I deleted it"  
  
"You lie"  
  
"I do not"  
  
"Yes you do"  
  
"Are you mocking me???"  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
"I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson then"  
  
"Come on then bird boy lets see what you've got!"  
  
"come on then"  
  
at this point both Fox McCloud & Falco Lombardi drew their weapons and proceeded to open fire upon each other.  
  
*****  
  
"That's funny" said Roy "I wonder what that sound was"  
  
Marth, or Marthe-  
  
"shut up and get on with the story you can call me Marth because the readers limited intelligence may not be able to cope with this every time my name is mentioned therefore pray continue dwelling upon that point".  
  
fine then,:  
  
Marth(e)-  
  
"Do IT! you foul specimen otherwise I will be forced to mutilate you terribly by removing your extremely large cartilaginous ears from your oversized cranium"  
  
fine, fine, fine,:  
  
Marth gulped  
  
"Maybe my fan girls have boarded the plane, with the swift intent of revenge."  
  
*****  
  
"Ahhhhhhhh" screamed a flight attendant as a laser flew past her ear and buried itself in the wall next to her  
  
"Terrorists!" wailed the waiter  
  
"We're all dooooooomed" said an odd Scotch person who happened to be nearby  
  
"Save us" screamed a woman with a flowery hat"  
  
"Dieeeeee" added Fox  
  
"Wriiiithe" commented Falco  
  
"What's all the fuss down here, wot?" drawled an English gentleman eager to give his view on the situation.  
  
*****  
  
"Don't worry Marth" said Roy again "we will all be o.k., just caaaalm down"  
  
"Yes, yes, I suppose you are quite right my friend I have been behaving rather rashly today I suppose I must account that my nerves have been giving me a lot of trouble recently" said you know who.  
  
"It's perfectly safe here you know there is nothing whatsoever-"  
  
Roy was cut off by a blaring announcement from the loudspeaker:  
  
*ding dong* "This is your captain speaking just to inform you that there are two armed criminals on the flight, but please remain calm, they are being delft with we have some police officers on the plane who will soon stop them"  
  
"Oh help, good lord save us" shrieked Marth like a schoolgirl  
  
"Good god" said Roy in reply  
  
"I know it is positively terrible that these foul creatures should be allowed on board the aircraft when there is royalty onboard my life is in terrible danger in fact it could even be my fan girls who have taken the plane and are now preparing to sn-"  
  
"Actually" interrupted Roy "I was shocked by the fact that you didn't only use two sentences to show your views"  
  
"Oh" said Marth (there he goes again)  
  
"Now I will tell you what I think about the terrorists on the plane"  
  
"Pray continue" (my, my he's really at it today)  
  
Roy shrieked at a yet higher rate of decibels than Marth if this was possible and the lady in front of them's glasses shattered"  
  
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh." shouted Marth (well at least it was over two lines) massaging his ear drums.  
  
*****  
  
The policemen were now approaching Fox and Falco but were being paid little or no attention to by the battling combatants.  
  
"Sir, for your own safety please put down the gun you could do someone a serious injury with that."  
  
"Diiiie freak bird" screamed Fox at Falco ignoring the man's advice.  
  
"Please sir control yourself!"  
  
"Take this foxy boy" Falco wailed back.  
  
after a while of persuading the men decided that the only thing they could do was to disarm the contestants by force. A police official silently crept up behind Falco and raised his truncheon.  
  
*****  
  
"Don't-a worry you won't-a feel a thing" said the medical plumber  
  
The would be burglar now trust up and helpless uttered a gagged scream of protest,  
  
"There is a slight risk-a that your-a stomach may fall out, is that-a o.k.?" said the doctor  
  
"Mphmmmhphph"  
  
"Oh-a good I love a willing patient-a"  
  
Dr. Mario turned round holding an instrument that would not have looked out of place in a torture chamber, the hapless victim surveyed the many sharp edges, sweating with fear. He again tried to scream  
  
"Mphphphhhhphmh"  
  
*****  
  
Fox fired another shot at Falco he ducked and the laser whizzed into the descending truncheon, the end of the weapon was separated from the hilt and flew off through the door into the control room.  
  
"Uh oh." said the policeman.  
  
a thump was heard then another and after that a scream.  
  
The policemen, and the animal hybrids rushed through the open door to observe the pilot lying unconscious on the floor, swatted down by the flying club. The navigator stood by with a look of horror on his face.  
  
"Come on navigator, you can fly the plane can't you?" said a policeman hopefully  
  
"N-n-o I can't" said the terrified navigator  
  
"Then we're all dead" said the policeman softly and sadly "Jolly good show" said the British gentleman who had again appeared on the scene.  
  
from behind the gentleman came a low cough.  
  
Fox McCloud, leader of the starfox crew stepped forwards,  
  
"Um.I think I can fly the plane" he said softly  
  
*****  
  
"Do you think it's safe to come out yet?" said Roy from beneath the seat  
  
"According to my calculus the terrorists should now have ceased their activities and have been successfully captured by the proper authorities therefore I believe it is safe for us to emerge let us remove ourselves from this undignified position."  
  
"The old Marth 's back" thought Roy to himself.  
  
They carefully crept out from under the seats and looked around"  
  
***** "You?" said a stunned policeman "but you're a terrorist"  
  
"Anyway it's too late now, look" said the navigator pointing out of the window  
  
the crew looked forwards. the plane was heading directly for a building with a large red cross on it at an extremely high speed.  
  
"We can try" said Fox leaping forwards to the controls.  
  
*****  
  
Dr. Mario was just about to insert the implement into the unwilling and terrified patient when the light in the surgery suddenly went out.  
  
"Oh-a dear" he said merrily hurrying to the window.  
  
He flung open the curtains and stared outside. Suddenly his jaw dropped and he stared out of the window paralysed with fear.  
  
"Mhphphmhh???" asked the now curious patient more terrified than ever.  
  
A large jet was heading straight for them at full throttle.  
  
"Mama-Mia!!!" screamed Dr. Mario.  
  
*****  
  
"We're safe now" said Roy happily tucking into a doughnut, he waited for his partner to make an unnecessarily long reply but none came. "Marth? what's wrong?" he said curiously "It's not the fan girls is it?"  
  
Marth was staring out of the window an expression of terror on his face. His blue hair standing on end.  
  
Roy stared out of the window curiously. He observed the building looming quickly towards them.  
  
"Oh sh-"  
  
*****  
  
At the last moment the plane moved upwards only shearing the roof and some of the wall of the surgery off the plane got rather dusty but no damage was done and no one was hurt at all. However during the crash the unwilling patient had managed to loosen his bonds and escape the clutches of the insane doctor.  
  
Dr. Mario himself was shocked to find his patient had left. However his vengeful feelings soon died down when he found the bag of stolen goods the thief had left in his hurry to escape.  
  
"Ah well-a" he said to himself "at-a least he pays-a well"  
  
When he lifted up the massive bag of gold with some difficulty he noticed something under the bag. a small letter in an envelope.  
  
He opened the envelope with a scalpel and read the contents  
  
"Hmm" he pondered.  
  
*****  
  
When the plane landed at the correct destination the crew were so thankful to him for saving them that they overlooked the episode of the fight. When the plane left both hybrids gave the plane a 21 shot salute.  
  
"They seemed nice" said Fox spinning his gun on his finger.  
  
"Yup" said Falco ruffling his feathers.  
  
they both returned the guns to their holsters simultaneously and both met with some resistance. They both took out the now crumpled letter from the holsters and shot the tops off still at the same time. They read the letter their eyes flicking across at the same speed.  
  
"Hmm" they said in unison.  
  
*****  
  
Shaking with fear Roy and Marthe-  
  
"Watch it there narrator."  
  
O.k. then :  
  
and Marth-e  
  
"This is your last warning before you find Falchion buried in you."  
  
and Marth left the plane holding onto each other for support. After a good deal of stuttering explanation they finally managed to inform the customs officer that Marth was a Prince.  
  
"I wonder why they kept stuttering" said the officer who had no knowledge of the events in the plane. "Maybe it's because he's a prince and is worried about assassination."  
  
As it happened Roy & Marth (right first time. "ah you seem to be learning") were still in earshot and at the mention of assassination fled as fast as they could.  
  
When they emerged from the men's bathroom more terrified than ever Roy noticed something sticking out of his passport he looked at Marth's and sure enough there was something sticking out of his as well.  
  
"What's that" he asked his friend  
  
"Arrrrgghghghghgh! where? where?" screamed his paranoid friend staring over his shoulders looking for the would be new threat.  
  
when Roy explained to Marth (wow I'm on a roll "yes, yes very good") about the object they discovered it was a letter they both opened their letters although Roy had to help the prince with his because he was shaking so badly.  
  
they both glanced over the letters, Marth (I rul-"shut up!" yes milord.) also glancing over his shoulders for horrors only known to him.  
  
"Hmm." said Roy having overcome his fear.  
  
"H-h-hmm." said his friend quaking with terror.  
  
*****  
  
Captain Falcon was awakened by the crash (of the plane for those of you who haven't been paying attention)  
  
"Wha-what?" he said to the world in general "Only 1 o'clock pm, waaay too early, still I feel special today" he said getting out of his racing car shaped bed.  
  
"Now Woogles you stay there, daddy will be back soon" he said placing his toy bear on the pillow. (what a foul image)  
  
He went over to the giant mirror in his bathroom and stood in front of it admiring his muscles and bulging his biceps. (yet fouler) "Man I'm pretty" he said to himself and then pointed to the reflective image of himself.  
  
"Heh, heh" he said to the image "Show me your moves!"  
  
above his head a massive rift was created in the fabric of the universe and a helmeted head poked out the body wrapped in armour and furs. It was the author. He said the word which inspires fear in all living creatures:  
  
NI!  
  
C. Falcon quavered under the insult and grovelled before the great figure.  
  
That's it Falcon out, I can just stand you using that taunt in the game but not in my story you don't, away foul cretin go and boil your head.  
  
"but-but" stammered the driver "how come I'm only in for a few lines while everyone else gets to be in for ages"  
  
Because you irritate me. Now go.  
  
"But I haven't even got the letter yet"  
  
Good point here ya go.  
  
the mighty figure, *hem hem* me gave him a small envelope.  
  
he read it veeeeeerrrrry slowly. and then hit upon a cunning plan,  
  
"A masterly plan full of vivacity and form I quite agree with the many factors than make it so like for instance the iambic pentameter which in my valid opinion contributes quite well to the well being of the tale.  
  
he droned on for a while under the authors stern gaze then without warning:  
  
Just say Hmm and quickly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
In response the author drew his mighty long sword and prepared to swing it.  
  
"Hmm" squeaked the terrified F-Zero pilot as quickly as possible  
  
That's more like it, now off with you it's nearly the end.  
  
"O.k. let me just say one thing to the readers"  
  
Fine  
  
"Show me your m-"  
  
GET OFF!!! OR A MAY DO SOMETHING I REGRET LATER.  
  
"Yes sir" said the Captain sulkily slumping off the page.  
  
*****  
  
Phew at last done for this chappie. I apologise for the lateness but I made it extra long instead. So did ya like it? hate it? please tell me. Flames will be used to warm up my house in the long winter evenings. Also is there anything which needs to be changed if so please tell me it would help. Also if you want anything to happen to the people in the next chapter (DK, Yoshi, Samus or Mr Game and Watch please) tell me and I'll try my best to put it in somewhere. also the letter may be revealed next chapter so if you want to see it I would appreciate it if you'd read and review. That would make it all worthwhile. We will no doubt soon find out how Dr. Mario gets on, whether C. Falcon will ever see his precious bear again and whether Marthe will ever become unafraid again.wha? Marth? no, no I didn't mean it no! No! not the sword stop! ahhhh it burns! Ow! It's all going black-Ughnh.  
  
"And so from me MARTHE, I mean MARTH goodnight to ye till we meet again." 


	4. Egad, and other such pointless phrases

I return. After a yet shorter time I am back to write yet more of this completely insane tale of things we cannot perceive yet we know are going on somewhere in the world. Never forget that this is not a game this is real nothing in this world is an illusion it is just a space to pass into another universe. On a lighter note here is chapter 4 which will contain more excitement than a ferret with pepper up its nose in an enclosed area. I therefore present you with the new characters featured in this chapter. They are: Samus, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, and everyone's favourite two dimensional man (save maybe paper Mario) Mr Game & Watch. I present to you these characters in association with Daz ("I told you to stop doing that in the interval" sorry Marth(e), "and that too" sorry, anyway on with the tale) washing powder. We now present to you the locked door. Here's what happened last time:  
  
Fox: On a plane with Falco they have an argument about game point scores and end up stunning the plane's captain. Fox then bravely saves the plane by taking over the controls. When the plane lands he is hailed like a hero. Finds the letter in his gun holster.  
  
Falco: On a plane with Fox they have an argument about game point scores and end up stunning the plane's captain. Falco assists fox to fly the plane to the destination. When the plane lands he is also hailed like a hero. Finds the letter in his gun holster.  
  
Dr. Mario: In his surgery mistakes a gunman for a patient and prepares to perform surgery on him. At the last moment the plane piloted by Fox hits part of the building but the gunman escapes leaving behind a bag of valuables. Dr. M takes these as payment and finds a letter under the bag.  
  
Marth: In the upper class are of the plane with Roy. Hiding from his fan- girls who he is convinced will murder him. He nearly dies of shock several times during the flight and leaves the plane trembling. Finds the letter in his passport. And opens it with trembling fingers.  
  
Roy: In the upper class are of the plane with Marth. Attempting to help the paranoid prince that he is not going to die. Also nearly dies of shock several times during the flight. However once off the plane quickly recovers. Finds the letter in his passport.  
  
C. Falcon: the less said the better.  
  
And now, Ladies and gentlemen, Lets get ready to rumble! ("really author you have as much humour in you as a peeled balloon" explain? "a peeled balloon is nothing therefore you have no humour in you." Lovely well anyway,) OK lets go!  
  
'Soulssss'  
  
"What was that?"  
  
Oh, don't worry, it's just the demon scarecrow whom we were given by the company to help us think up more plot lines. Apparently he is exceptionally intelligent and grammatically correct. However at current he's not much help as he only seems to know one word.  
  
'Soulsss'  
  
"I see, anyway."  
  
Yes anyway on with the story:  
  
'Soulsss!'  
  
This chapter is dedicated to Airshi, defender of yoshi isla for helping me to think up the whole first half.  
  
*****  
  
In the midst of space a large planet was exploding. This was nothing unusual in the midst of space, I mean, once you've seen one planet exploding you've seen them all. Still out of the blazing inferno which was once a planet (the rocks formerly known as planet) came a small ship which looked very looked rather decayed and burned. It was a small insect-like ship. Inside it a robot encased woman was fighting her way to the control panel. Samus.  
  
"Splarge" said an unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.  
  
"Splarge" said a yet more unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.  
  
"Splarge" said the most unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.  
  
"Alas, as time passes my body will deteriorate, as now I am dead" said a well educated unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.  
  
"Splurge" said a rebellious unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.  
  
"Splarge" said an unusual looking alien who was not with the pattern of events as it exploded in a fountain of goo.  
  
And many more unusual phrases came from the lips (do aliens have lips? "I don't know how about you scarecrow" 'Soulss' "well that was revealing!") of the aliens whom (grammar) were exploding in fountains of goo. The bionic warioress Eventually reached the front end of the ship where for some unknown reason the monsters were more difficult as they always are in metroid games when you near your goal. Eventually she reached the control room where a swarm of metroids were lurking in the shadows to ambush her. However metroids, however transparent are not very good at hiding They stood out like a Tarantula on a plate. The gun was being charged. Seeing this the metroids either fled or charged. Most fled. When the ones which charged reached her the gun had already gone off.  
  
"Splarglghtlempoddemplefrop" said most of the metroids as they were incinerated by the blast.  
  
"Splarglghtlempoddemplefrod" said the rest of the metroids as they were incinerated by the blast.  
  
"Splarge" said an unusual looking alien who was there for no apparent reason as it exploded in a fountain of goo.  
  
Samus wiped burned metroids and unusual looking alien goo from her visor as she typed I the co-ordinates of her home planet into the computer with tapping sound effects.  
  
"Welcome" said the computer "You've got mail"  
  
Samus did not care that she had mail, nor that the computer was Windows. Nor that the Internet seemed to be AOL. She typed in the co-ordinates irritably. Soon the little ship was heading towards a distant planet. She didn't notice that in the shadows there lurked a single metroid which had not been caught in the blast. This was a specially bred metroid which could blend into shadows. It was a shadow metroid. The robotic warrior was intently staring out of the window into the galaxy. Suddenly out of nowhere came the three main characters of pokémon and time stopped save on the three characters.  
  
"Woah" said Ash in his gritty voice "where are we?"  
  
"What's that thing?" said misty pointing at the metroid "d'ya suppose its a water pokémon?"  
  
"Nah, It's gotta be a fire pokémon" said Ash idiotically, Ill try out Dexter on it"  
  
*bleep*  
  
This is not a pokémon. This is a metroid from no current game. It has been trained by the finest ninja masters from all over the world. And as a result can blend into the shadows and can kill in a blow. The most dangerous creature known to mankind and any other kind.  
  
"So its a fire pokémon" said Ash yet more foolishly.  
  
"Er." said Misty, "What do you think Brock?"  
  
But Brock was staring at Samus, somehow he knew that inside that adamantine shell there was a body as.  
  
suddenly the whole party vanished and time regained its flow. The metroid slowly moved towards Samus its claws arced upwards in an attack designed to kill at a blow, now the claws were falling towards the unprotected head.  
  
*****  
  
Elsewhere on a small island a number of medium sized dinosaurs were strutting around as if they owned the place, which they did, but that's not the point. There appeared to be some sort of special ceremony going on as there was a small clearing infested with the creatures and with many long houses made out of palm leaves. The dinosaurs were rushing about in a frenzied state carrying fruit around and repeatedly bumping into each other, except five which were seated in one of the long houses with mountains of food piled on great plates in front of them. By now you have probably realised that these creatures were Yoshis. If you have not you are either rather foolish or should not be reading this story.  
The five Yoshis were all of different colours; There was a blue Yoshi, a red Yoshi, a green Yoshi, a yellow Yoshi, and a black and white with pink spotted Yoshi. There was an equal amount of food on each plate. And the Yoshis appeared raring to go.  
  
"Yoshi, Yoshi Yosh?" said one.  
  
"Yoshi Yo." Said a second in reply.  
  
"Yoshi Yo-" one began, then time again stopped.  
  
A large galaxy shrunk and began to swirl in the room then a hole appeared in the centre and out of it cane a cloaked figure, Yes the author had returned.  
  
"Um, I assume that no one here can speak or understand Yosheic therefore I'm just going to leave this little translator here where all the action is."  
  
He placed a small box in the corner of the room and then vanished in a swirl of stars and time returned to normal.  
  
"-gree completely with your statement" continued the Yoshi, who had been interrupted by the halt in the passage of time.  
  
"What do you think Red?" Said another Yoshi  
  
"Well." said the red Yoshi  
  
A much smaller Yoshi burst in an announced in a loud voice:  
  
"The contest is about to begin, please take up your positions!"  
  
The select Yoshis took up assorted positions near their plates of food. The excitement outside was so intensely intense that it was depressive. ("Is that possible?" I assume so. "Oh, o.k. continue, sirrah" 'Soulsss' "Silence worm") The Yoshis leaped up and down and made bets on the contest.  
  
Inside the countdown had begun:  
  
"Five" said the small Yoshi  
  
"four.three.two.one"  
  
The Yoshis moved towards the food.  
  
"Let the feasting begin" screamed the small Yoshi.  
  
*****  
  
At the last moment an asteroid collided with the side of the ship sending it off balance. With an audible shriek the assassin metroid was flung to one side with a sickening crunch as it collided with the wall. Upon hearing this Samus whirled round and fired a missile at the are from where the sounds came. As the missile hit the assassin metroid it uttered its last shriek and then exploded into a smouldering heap. Smoking slightly. It bubbled and then evaporated. However this was the least of Samus' current worries. The meteor had smashed off the whole of the right wing and without it the ship was helpless.  
  
"Damn," thought Samus "Just after I'd waxed it"  
  
The ship began it's slow spiralling decent towards a distant planet which was looming slowly nearer as the ship descended. The planet seemed unusually bright coloured. Samus stared at it in amazement, it really was brightly coloured.  
  
Luckily the anti-gravity boosters were still functioning properly and Samus managed to slow the descent to the planet. The ship was now entering The planet's cloud layer. As it streaked through the clouds trails of vapour fled off the sides of the ship. Samus looked sideways and saw that the sun was smiling at her. She screamed and went away from the window. "3 seconds to impact" said onboard computer. "For more information on windows products please visit the web site at 'www.wi-'"  
  
BOOM  
  
The ship hit the ground at seventy mph and rolled over on its' side. Samus had some difficulty disentangling herself from the wreckage however eventually escaped after a while and stared around at the strange alien world.  
  
*****  
  
"And the winner is Yellow Yoshi" wailed the small Yoshi  
  
"Second place to Green Yoshi" he said in a megaphone voice  
  
"And third place is to B&W with pink spotted Yoshi" he screamed his voice giving out on him.  
  
The inhabitants of Yoshi island wailed their response in happiness or irritation. And then the shaking of hands and patting of backs started. When Green Yoshi managed to tear himself away from the proceedings to go back home his stomach felt slightly odd. Maybe it was all that food he had consumed. He needed something to help him digest his meal. Maybe he would find something on the way home.  
  
"A good day all in all" he thought to himself  
  
("How come we can still hear him?"  
He swallowed the translator as he thought it was a beverage "Oh, right continue then" 'Soulssssss')  
  
"But I do need a thing to help me digest" he said out loud.  
  
*****  
  
Samus was amazed by her surroundings .Everything was in vibrant colour. And the sun was shining brightly. She had got used to it's face by now. Suddenly out of the corner of her eye she saw something move, it looked reptilian, she readied herself for combat.  
  
*****  
  
Yoshi rounded a corner on the dust road to home and saw something unusual. There was a large metal thing like an insect and in front of it a metal figure which was certainly not a Yoshi. From his point of view it looked just the thing to cure his indigestion. He ran towards it.  
  
"Yoshi" he said.  
  
The metal figure obviously had misjudged his range as did not attack. Yoshi stuck out his long tongue and wrapped it round the thing's waist. He, despite it's struggles dragged it into his cavernous belly. However it had so many pointy edges it made Yoshi's stomach hurt even more. He decided to get rid of it by changing it into an egg. He laid the egg and went on his way fed up. But then realised that the pain in his stomach had gone. He danced away happily. Singing:  
  
"Yoshi, Yoshi. Yoshi? Yoshi!"  
  
*****  
  
Samus was extremely humiliated. She was trapped inside an egg. And what was worse she had been entrapped by a not very strong looking creature and what was most humiliating of all she could not get out of the egg. After rolling around for a while she decided that the only thing left to do was to shoot her way out. She charged up a fully powered shot and fired it an the wall. Not a scratch was made. Then she decided to lay a bomb. It exploded. The shell broke at last. Happily she scrambled to her feet and jumped up and down on the shell which was formerly known as her prison.  
  
However floating in the yolk was a small neat letter. She decided to be careful after all if a small dinosaur was that dangerous then the letter could be her doom. She leant it up against a tree and stood well back. Then fired a large ball of energy at it neatly shearing off the top.  
  
After a period of time had elapsed she went cautiously towards the letter and envelope. She took out the letter and read it at arms length. After a deal of time she made up her mind.  
  
"Hmm" was her decision.  
  
*****  
  
Yoshi arrived at his house and plucked a watermelon from his garden. After all that walking he was hungry. He went inside to eat it . However! When he split it open there was no soft flesh to bite into. There was nothing. Save a letter. Yoshi was horror-struck! Where was the melon? Maybe the letter would give him some clue as to it's whereabouts. He read the letter carefully to make sure there was nothing about the melon that he had missed. Since there was nothing about melons in the letter he ate it instead and as it went down his gullet he said to the world in general.  
  
"Yoshi?".  
  
*****  
  
Donkey Kong or as he was more commonly known as DK strolled leisurely towards the ferry. Being a sensible person he had given himself plenty of time to reach his destination but not too much so that he would have to wait around. In fact it was not a commonly known fact about DK but he was one of the more intelligent of the super smash brothers team. Not the unintelligent ape was Donkey Kong. And oh how he hated that name. His true name was Denver Kanokworthy. Or in full Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy. His name had been shortened to DK, which he did not mind but when he was compared to a mule it was more than what his nerves could stand. As he strolled along the dock he whistled to himself quietly swinging his umbrella in his hands. He raised his bowler hat to several sea going families who either waved back of gave him glances of surprise. Denver Kanokworthy did not mind he merely continued his leisurely saunter down the road to the ship which he was boarding. As he approached the ship he waved at the harbour master who was just coming out of his office. He quickly ran back inside. Denver handed his ticket to the sailor who was on duty. Who looked rather aghast at him and then remembering his manners said  
  
"Thank you sir"  
  
"Not at all, it is you whom I must thank for being so amiable" replied the ape, the model of rectitude and politeness, as he strolled inside the steel vessel.  
  
In his cabin DK placed his neatly folded clothes in the drawer and took out of one of the cupboards, the ships map. He perched his reading glasses carefully on his nose. And began to read.  
  
"Let me see now" He said to himself "There is the kitchen, and then there is the dining room.Ah, and here is my cabin. Most generously situated if I do say myself.Oh, there is a pool on board though perhaps a little early in the day at current. And a badminton court, Ah that brings back memories. Still I think I shall go on a short walk along before the ship leaves. In order that I may absorb some of the harbour air.  
  
And with that he took the glasses off his nose and placed them on the bedside table and strolled off in search of the main deck.  
  
*****  
  
Mr. Game & Watch was slightly lost. He too was on his way to the ship however his planning was not as great as that of DK's. He was now going down a dark alleyway in the complete wrong direction. Out of the gloom came an assorted gang of punks and gang members they glared at game and watch evilly.  
  
"Wot 'ave we got ere then" said one of them who seemed to be the leader.  
  
"Bleep" said Mr. G&W in a state of horror.  
  
"Eh! Look Eddie ee's only got two sides.  
  
"Er." said G&W nervously "could one of you please tell me the way to the number 7 dock"  
  
"Not on your life flatty" Said the punk known as Eddie.  
  
"Bleep" said Mr game and watch in an objective tone.  
  
"Wot does 'ee keep bleepin' for" said a leather clad individual.  
  
"Bleep" said Game and Watch again.  
  
" 'Oo cares lets get 'im" said Eddie  
  
"Oi wants to see what's in them flat little pockets of 'is" said a skinhead drawing out a knife.  
  
Mr Game and Watch fled for his life down the narrow alley with shouts of rage following him. However as he burst out into the sunlight of dock 7 he heard one of the gang members shout after him:  
  
"See you on board" and then some assorted laughs.  
  
Mr G&W quickly gave his ticket to the sailor who really was having and interesting day and then left him muttering about apes and now flat men. After he had been to his cabin to put away his things he came out on deck relieved that nothing had happened and the ship was just about to leave as the leaving whistle came he saw a small group of figures which he recognised. There were 5 of them. It was five members of the group which had attacked him in the alley and they were all boarding the ship.  
  
"Bleep!" squeaked G&W leaping under the tarpaulin of a nearby lifeboat.  
  
*****  
  
Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy strolled merrily down the deck of the ship he was having a fine time. Having procured a bottle of the 88' burgundy from the duty free shop he chortled merrily as he sauntered along the gangways. Chortling at past experiences that flashed into his mind. However the wine was making him slightly light headed and he needed a place to sit down for a while. He spotted a vacant deck chair by a lifeboat and sat down on it with his legs crossed and proceeded to read 'War and Peace' while taking occasional sips of wine. However in mid-read he thought he heard a sound issuing from the lifeboat. He listened closely however nothing else came.  
  
"No, no I must have been mistaken" said DK.  
  
He continued to read however his peace was interrupted by another sound coming from the same place. He placed an ear to the side of the lifeboat and listened with close attention. From the lifeboat slowly issued a collection of bleeps, whirs and clicks. DK stared at the bottle of wine in horror. He took it very gingerly between two fingers and tossed it over the side. Before plunging his head into a bucket of water which happened to be nearby before remarking:  
  
"Egad! That was strong stuff, I almost thought I heard." He trailed off into silence as bleeps continued to come from the lifeboat. Very, very slowly he approached the lifeboat and then after the bleeps started again flung open the lid, to see a well known figure to him cowering inside.  
  
"Gerald?" he said addressing the 2D man by his correct first name.  
  
"Donkey ?" said G&W addressing the ape man by his incorrect first name.  
  
"Enough of the Donkey" said DK "call me Denver or at least DK"  
  
"Sorry DK" came the apologetic reply "What are you doing here.  
  
"Going home" Said the great ape "But more importantly, what are you doing trapped inside a lifeboat?"  
  
"I was not trapped," replied you know who "I was hiding"  
  
"From whom?" said DK curiously. "Some people who attacked me in an alley and are now on the ship"  
  
"Whom, Game and Watch, whom"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You mean pardon, I was referring to the fact that you used the wrong word in your sentence"  
  
"Fine then: Some people whom attacked me in an alley and are now on the ship, is that better?"  
  
"Yes, now you come along with me I'll keep you safe, after all I owe you a favour"  
  
"Oh, really why?" said G&W trying to remember why.  
  
"You got me into my first games, Mario and Donkey Kong" Said Great gorilla shuddering as he said his fake name.  
  
"Ah, yes happy memories, still your sure?" said game and watch feeling safer already.  
  
"Quite so my good chum, come on off we go!"  
  
"Yes, off we go" said game and watch forgetting the lurking thieves whom a few minutes ago he had been cowering in a life boat from.  
  
And so off they went chatting about old times and laughing uproariously at previous happenings. Disturbing other travellers with their presence.  
  
"And then there was the time," Said game and watch "When you tried to throw a barrel at Mario and when he tried to jump over it he hit his head on the ceiling and passed out!"  
  
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" laughed DK uproariously.  
  
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" laughed G&W more uproariously.  
  
"I still think that the old games were funnier" said DK humorously.  
  
"Yes do you remember the time whe-" game and watch stopped dead as saw rounding the corner the gang with 'Eddie' at their head. The colour drained from him but since black is not a colour, its a shade he remained exactly the same. DK continued to stride forwards with eyes closed reminiscing about the past unaware of the danger.  
  
"Look out Denver!" shouted Mr Game and Watch. As one of the men swung a knife at DK. Brought back to reality by use of his real name DK rolled backwards and the Knife slashed at thin air. "Well, Well, Well" said Eddie "Look wot we got 'ere"  
  
Game and watch clicked nervously and DK grunted in his rage.  
  
"Not only have we found our lost companion" continued Eddie "But also we've found us a nice monkey fur coat"  
  
DK was raring to go, G&W was not.  
  
"All right lads get em" shouted Eddie to his companions.  
  
The Rogues leaped forwards knives drawn, None however leaped as quickly as Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy who charged in scattering them like bowling pins.  
  
DK was having the time of his life beating up enemies he felt like he was back in one of the NES games.  
  
"Time to se if the old tactic still works." He shouted to G&W picking up a handy barrel and flinging it at his foes. It apparently still did it squashed two of the goons flat.  
  
"Hoo, Hoo" wailed DK beating his chest.  
  
He flung his umbrella at another one of the attackers knocking him through the kitchen wall and into a vat of soup. Now only two remained, Eddie and the black leather clad individual whom had spoken to game and watch in the alley.  
  
As DK stared at the man struggling o get the soup vat off his head he heard a click from behind him.  
  
"Not so fast monkey man" said the leather clad individual in a typically English supervillan voice raising the gun to point at DK's spine. "Grab him Eddie" For one of the first times in his life Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy did not know what to do. "Now," said Eddie raising his knife to DK's throat" It's time to have some fun."  
  
*****  
  
Something inside Mr Game and Watch snapped. He could not bear to see his friend being tormented like this. He grabbed a ship's rope and using it as a whip flung one end of it towards the English man's gun hand. The force of the blow was so powerful that it not only smashed the gun out of the mans hand but also wrapped itself round his wrist. Showing quick reactions Mr G&W who was practically glowing with fury and energy ran round the man until he was well and truly wound in the rope. Then He leaped upon the disarmed man and proceeded to pummel him until the man became unconscious.  
  
***** At the moment DK saw Mr G&W disarm the gunman he smashed Eddie in the chest, He sailed away, over the side of the ship and at around 100m from the ship when he submerged into the water. Mr G&W had calmed down and he and DK high-fived, or in DK's case low fived as G&W was so much smaller than him.  
  
*****  
  
On the dock on the other side of the crossing. The gunman was deposited at the Police Station. Where it was revealed that the gunman's face was not his own he was wearing a mask! As the police peeled off the mask DK gave a gasp of recognition.  
  
"Jinkies!" He said in an unusually high pitched voice "Its the harbour master"  
  
"No it's not" Said a Police Man "It's the dreaded gangster Al Dappone! He was trying to steal the empress of Marocco's diamonds which were on board"  
  
"That's right" Said the criminal "And I would have got away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"  
  
As DK and G&W left the station they were happy save for one thing.  
  
"Why did he call us kids?" Said the 2D man  
  
I don't know, I suppose he was mad" said his monkey companion.  
  
"Maybe" said the little black guy  
  
"There's something in my umbrella Game and Watch. Is it yours?" said DK  
  
"Shouldn't think so" replied G&W curiously.  
  
"Well it has your name on it" said DK yet more curiously.  
  
"Oh" said you know who at his most curious  
  
It turned out to be a letter?, no two letters?  
  
Game and watch took his letter two dimensionally, he read it two dimensionally, he looked up two dimensionally.  
  
DK took out his paper knife and slit the top of the letter carefully, then with his reading glasses on his nose he read the letter carefully.  
  
"Hmm" said the friends together.  
  
*****  
  
There is no author, or Marth, or Scarecrow present at current only a curtain which now begins to open. A well known figure steps out clutching his plush bear 'Woogles' He looks around to check no one is present and then points at the camera.  
  
"Show me your moves" said you know very well who  
  
"That's it come here falcon" screamed the author who appeared out of nowhere with his companions.  
  
"Eek" squeaked C. Falcon like an anime schoolgirl running away.  
  
The author chased him around and out of the theatre, Marth followed  
  
"Leave some for me," he shouted after them "I hate him as much as you"  
  
He also runs off.  
  
Only the scarecrow is left. He looks round to check no one is present then says:  
  
'This time I am not going to say Soulsss. I can talk you know. So since everyone else is gone I will give the ending sequence. That is the end of all the characters There will be no more letters save one and that will be the letter to you which will arrive next chapter. Therefore next chapter will be quite short. So this chapter is done how did you like it. Was it good? Bad? Please tell me (Or the author) if you read and review which I hope you will do. Also if you have any ideas for a future plot line, then send them to me (or the author)and we will try to include them. Flames will be used for lighting my artillery batteries to open fire on French dragoons. So now I leave you with the merry thought that C. Falcon is being pursued by the author and Marth and will probably not escape without injury, and also the fact that there will be no more "Hmm"s coming to your eyes. After your letter the story really begins. Oh .and.Soulllssssss.  
  
. 


	5. The letter is at last revealed Oh joy!

At last the contents of the letter shalt be revealed unto thou. Therefore there will be no real starter thing, save the disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing on this earth save this document. Yes even the clothes that I am currently wearing are probably copyrighted to some company. Therefore and so with the those words we zoom forwards to examine the contents of the letter.  
  
Dear Sir or Madam,  
Tue 26/8  
  
You are cordially invited to a ball which shall be held upon the 30th of this month which we sincerely hope that you will be able to attend. This is a strictly private entertainment and only a few select candidates will be allowed to enter the facility. Thankfully for yourself you are one of the select few. Please bring as well as ball dress, Usual costume for yourself plus any extra accessories which you normally carry. All things are allowed. After the ball we invite you to stay the night in the hall where all your needs will be prepared for you. Also after the ball there will be a dinner and a number of games. You will be surprised just how short a time it will be over with. Please do not respond to this invitation it will be taken in at the gate therefore please fill out the questionnaire at the bottom of the form. There will be ample time to get aquatinted with the other guests in the time before the ball commences. (times demonstrated in the timetable later in the document)A transport will come and pick you up at your residence if you refuse to come it will leave without you there will be only one chance. The timetable is as follows:  
  
1.00-2.00pm: arrival of transports at guests residences.  
  
3.00: Arrival at the hall.  
  
4.00-5.00: Afternoon tea.  
  
6.00: Get changed for the ball.  
  
7.30: Start of ball.  
  
9.00: End of ball.  
  
9.10: Dinner.  
  
10.30: Games.  
  
11.11: A word from the host.  
  
12.00am: Bed.  
  
We hope that you will be able to attend at these times. Yours,  
  
Messrs. H&H.  
  
So there we go the letter at last but now just a quick look at what the characters are doing and currently thinking, somehow entering their minds and exploring what's inside:  
  
Mario Mario: "I know my-a brother really cares about-a me"  
  
Currently: Wondering around in the small room in which he has been locked by Luigi.  
  
Peach: "What to wear, ooooh how about this floaty pink little number!"  
  
Currently: Wandering around inside (yes inside) her wardrobe which is around the size of a house.  
  
Bowser: "Grrrrrrrr! Ra-vi-o-li"  
  
Currently: Studying his copy of the concise Oxford English dictionary.  
  
Pikachu: "Picachu! Bo-n-jou-r"  
  
Currently: Studying his copy of the concise Oxford French dictionary  
  
Zelda: "But will £800 be enough?"  
  
Currently: Preparing to leave for the exceedingly large Hyrule mall to purchase new clothes. (as if she didn't have enough already)  
  
Ness: "Now watch as I split the atom!"  
  
Currently: Showing off to his friends at school with his yo-yo.  
  
Yoshi: Yoshi!  
  
Currently: Eating, what made you think he was doing anything else?  
  
Link: "This is all because I'm not feared anymore, curse your cutesie cell shading windwaker!"  
  
Currently: Locked in the kitchen by Zelda, and being forced to do the washing up.  
  
Fox: "Need.more.video games.thumbs.relaxing.must.make tense"  
  
Currently: Staring at an airport video game boutique.  
  
Samus: "At least I don't need to worry about clothes, but which suit should I wear. Varia? Gravity?  
  
Currently: Making one of a female bounty hunter's difficult decisions.  
  
Kirby: "Dum-dum-da da da, Da da da da dum dee dum.."(to Kirby theme)  
  
Currently: Riding a warp star around in search of things to eat.  
  
Captain Falcon: "Hey show me your mo-"  
  
Currently : about to be devoured by the author .  
  
Ice Climbers Popo: "I am de terminator."  
  
Currently: Scaling a 2 dimensional mountain wearing shades.  
  
Ice Climbers Nana: "Urge to commit murder rising.."  
  
Currently: Searching through her pack for an ice axe.  
  
Donkey Kong: "`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe."  
  
Currently: Reading an extremely thick volume of poems.  
  
Luigi: "I think-a I may have finally got-a rid of him!"  
  
Currently: Throwing the key to the room which he has trapped Mario in, into a drain.  
  
Pichu: "Yo, dudes, catch Ya on the flip side."  
  
Currently: Skating down a road somewhere in a city in Japan.  
  
Marth: "Muss-ss-st s-s-stay s-s-silent. S-s-stoppp tee-th-th frr-rrom chatt- t-t-tering"  
  
Currently: Cowering inside an assassin proof closet.  
  
Ganondorf: "What is Link talking about, I love washing up, oh joy!"  
  
Currently: Locked in the kitchen by Zelda, and being forced to do the washing up.  
  
Jigglypuff: "Jiggggaleeeeepuuf Jigalleeeeee-eee-ee-puf."  
  
Currently: Singing (well obviously) and sending the inhabitants of various areas to sleep. (warning: it is not a good idea to fall asleep when a round pink blob sings.)  
  
Dr Mario: "With all-a this money that man-a left, I can-a go on-a holiday!"  
  
Currently: packing a suitcase with loud Hawaiian shirts.  
  
Falco: "Hey Fox, did you just see a blue haired weirdo run past looking terrified?.Fox?.Nooooooo, Fox not the video games."  
  
Currently: Stopping Fox from committing the sin of thievery.  
  
Mewtwo: "Where now? Ahh yes Tunisia, My master plan is almost complete.. Muhahaha Hahahah"  
  
Currently: Stealing one of every countries flags for an unapparent reason.  
  
Roy: "Marth, come out of the closet, no ones going to get you"  
  
Currently: attempting to unlock the assassin proof closet's doors.  
  
Young Link: "But big bro, you weren't in the Wind-waker, only I was."  
  
Currently: Locked in the kitchen by Zelda, and being forced to do the washing up.  
  
Mr. Game and Watch: "*bleep*, I know kung fu."  
  
Currently: Practising martial arts in front of his bedroom mirror.  
  
So there you go. Now we leave you to go around as you please, But if you desire to then press the little purple/blue button at the bottom of the screen and review the story it would be nice and inspire me. "And believe me he needs inspiring" Yes Marth, very nice. Also story ideas would be nice or just suggestions. Flames will be used to create electricity by boiling water. Never fear the next chapter will be up quite soon and then the true story will start. So I bid you good day/night. "Goodnight" 'Soullllllssssss' "Hey show me your moves" There he is after him "Oh no, I must flee, if only I had the blue falcon"  
  
*The curtains close* 


End file.
